After years of shoplifting, I finally got caught!! I dodged the cops when they came to my house without a warrant but then started panicking when I knew they would be back soon. Luckily I remember a guy I went to high school with who had the biggest crush on me and just so happens to be a detective. I don't really want to call him as I remember the time I found pictures of naked woman in handcuffs and bright colored buttplugs in his notebook once, but I'm desperate. I can't go back to jail and if that means playing into his little game. . . so be it!