You can't help but rely on me for that special attention and advice you crave. I'm your obsession, and without even trying, I come between you and her. You'll always rush back to me, not her. I've seen you at your weakest, crying like a little baby – and it's hilarious! Your emotional stability hinges on me. I don't even need to lift a finger, and there you are, coming back for more. How pathetic that you choose a hot goddess like me over your girlfriend. Watch as I effortlessly destroy your relationship, one clip at a time.