I was squeezed into my skintight red dress, heels high, lips painted a dangerous shade of red, ready to turn heads. But just as I reached for my luxury face cream, disaster. Empty! There was no way I was stepping out anything less than flawless, so I turned to the old man. His wallet was clamped tighter than a nun’s thighs on Sunday, but I wasn’t leaving without what I wanted! A slow strut, a striptease to reveal my sexy lingerie, and suddenly, he was feeling extra generous, just not with his money. Instead, he offered me a “natural alternative” and well… let’s just say, by the end of it, I was the one leaving him dry!