Valentine’s Day is all about confessing your true desires and you haven’t been honest. You refuse to accept your craving for my stinky, hairy armpits. That’s right. I’ve noticed how you look at my bushy pits, how nervous you get when I catch you staring. The thought of smelling them, licking them, ruffling my sweaty hairs drives you insane. You’re obsessed and your only option is to confess. Just follow my words, keep your eyes on my hairy armpits, and breathe in my musk as I guide you through accepting your true love for my stinky, hairy pits. *no nudity*