It all started when a friend lent me her Oculus Quest — just for fun. I launched Beat Saber out of curiosity… and immediately lost two mornings of my life to neon cubes and sweaty cardio. I even skipped my morning runs because slicing blocks to EDM felt way more satisfying than pounding the pavement. I wasn’t expecting it to be that addictive — or that intense. That’s when the idea came to me: What if I trained until I could absolutely nail Expert+ songs, with perfect scores, while dancing… in full stripper heels? Hair done, lashes on, outfit tiny — full slay. Right now though? Not even close. I’m in a football jersey and gym shorts, flailing like I have no grip on reality — or rhythm. So here it is: the start of a very dumb, very ambitious challenge. This is Episode 1 of a fully SFW series where I try (and fail) to be good at Beat Saber until I get really good — and sexy — at Beat Saber. Again, for now I look like a duck in a rhythm crisis. I’m tripping over my own feet, confused, and absolutely not serving anything. But give me time. The slay is coming.